The oddest things have happened over the past week or so. For starters, I was flipping through an old notebook (circa 1998) and came across the name of a character that I had created but never done anything with. I really liked the name, and after mulling it over for a bit, I ended up having a new character come to life complete with a backstory, a current story, and a mental picture. I pulled out a blank notebook and ended up writing an opening scene that flowed cleanly, in a way that I don’t remember experiencing in a long time. I could see the scene in my mind’s eye and hear the dialogue between the characters, and it was like all I had to do was transcribe it. Other scenes and plot elements kept popping into my head, and all I can say is “thank goodness for the voice-to-text Memo app on my phone” – otherwise there’s no way I would have been able to write or type it all to capture it.

A couple days after that, I watched the 11th episode of The Sandman on Netflix – the one with Calliope the Muse. It occurred to me that the final part of the episode where Calliope was finally freed took place in August 2022, and it made me smile that maybe it wasn’t such a coincidence after all that I found that notebook not long after the episode aired. I have ended up writing more in the past week than I have in the past year, and it feels good.

The other thing that happened was I came across a free download on Audible called “How to Stay Focused: 10 Untold Remarkably Simple Techniques to Control Your Mind and Stay Focused” by Stephens Hyang. It really hit home for me and I have tried to start using the techniques in my daily life. I have felt unfulfilled at my current job for quite some time, and I haven’t done anything tangible about it because I’m afraid. I’m not bad at my job, and it pays well, so I’d be dumb to abandon it and jump off into the unknown where I’d likely fail because I don’t know how to make my passions marketable. I have talked myself into the fear so much that it has become a major obstacle (and rationalization). But when the audiobook started talking about “You are what you think” and how the thoughts that run through your mind shape and become your reality.

I’m a positive person in general. But I also have major self-esteem and self-doubt issues, and they have stifled me long enough. Between the “How to Stay Focused” audiobook and the “Start Here” series of podcasts by Mel Robbins – particularly the one about “Writing Your Next Chapter” – I am more encouraged that there are options out there that will let me find a fulfilling and motivating job for my next act.

I know it won’t be an instant change, and I have a lot of work to do on myself in order to change my mindset, because I have been in my comfort zone for a long time. It scares me, but it also excites me, and I’m looking forward to seeing what ideas come up for my future.